Al-Anon

Someone else's drinking can affect your life - be it as a relative or friend, male or female. Someone else's uncontrolled, and uncontrollable drinking can turn love to hate; bring you to the depths of despair; affect you financially; lead to violent outbursts; make you doubt your own sanity to the point that you wonder if you have driven your partner or family member to drink and that you are the problem.

“During the first ten years of our marriage, my husband would regularly embarrass and shame himself and his family in public with his excessive, drunken behaviour. He always needed to be the centre of attention and as far as he was concerned the more offensive, aggressive and outrageous he could be, the better. He didn't seem to care about anyone else’s feelings, least of all mine. On many occasions, I drove home early from parties, wishing I had never gone, wishing I was married to someone else, someone 'normal'. He was always letting me down. I was ashamed that I had married a man who had no respect for anyone or anything. I was also deeply ashamed of myself for living a lie. I was brilliant at covering up all the chaos and violence within the home and projecting a 'happy family' image to the outside world.”

Whatever your relationship to the drinker, whatever your story, Al-Anon can help. Al-Anon Family Groups is an organisation for the relatives and friends of alcoholics, who share their experience, strength and hope with each other in order to solve their common problems. Al-Anon has one purpose: to help the families and friends of alcoholics.

At regular Al-Anon meetings, members can share their own experience of living with alcoholism and of how they cope. Many leading medical authorities throughout the world recognise alcoholism as a chronic, progressive disease. We believe it is a family disease and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Anonymity

Anonymity is an important principle of the Al-Anon programme.

We protect the individual’s anonymity by using first names. We protect each other’s confidentiality so that we can talk openly about our situation. We protect the anonymity of the alcoholic at all times. Al-Anon has been offering hope and help to the families and friends of alcoholics since 1951. There are over 24,000 groups worldwide.

Members come from all walks of life. They are the wives, husbands, partners, sisters, brothers, children, parents, friends or colleagues of alcoholics. No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share a common bond: we feel our lives have been deeply affected by another person's drinking.

Al-Anon works by members attending meetings, where you will hear about situations much like your own. Members help each other by sharing their own experience and how they have used the Al-Anon programme to change their attitudes and behaviour, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

We recommend attending about six meetings before you decide whether Al-Anon is for you. Meetings tend to last an hour and a half. You don’t have to speak - you can just sit and listen. We respect one another’s anonymity. We use first names only. Everything that is said is treated as confidential. We do not talk about the people we see or repeat what we have heard at meetings.

Al Anon is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one. Members of any faith or none at all, are welcome and we make it a point to avoid discussions of specific religious beliefs. There are no fees to join. Meetings usually have a collection to pay the rent for the meeting place.

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